Scaryduck's House of Lies

In these days of terrorism, natural disasters and steadily rising oil prices, it is up to SCIENCE to come to the rescue of civilisation with the discovery of cheap, reliable and endless power sources. To this end, researchers have identified two great truisms of scientific knowledge and harnessed them for the good of the world:

* Toast will always land butter side down
* Cats will always land feet first

By gluing a cat to a piece of buttered toast, scientists have discovered a device that will never hit the ground, and when properly balanced, will spin endlessly, movement which can be harnessed in the generation of energy. Scaled up by employing tigers and patented “Pop Tart” technology, sufficient power can be produced to fulfil the needs of much of the developed world, the only by-product being cat poop, which is buried in the traditional style.

Using similar techniques, and by playing Paul McCartney’s “Frog Chorus” at the correct location, scientists have also been able to harness the power of John Lennon spinning in his grave to generate enough electricity to power most of the North West of England.