Scaryduck's House of Lies

One in every 10,000 boxes on the tea-time TV blockbuster Deal or No Deal says "Punch Noel Edmonds in the face".

In the last three years, hospitals in and around the Middle East have registered 2,732 cases of injury caused by burning American flags.

However, it is a little known fact that most of these flags are made in a small factory in Wyoming which is essentially a CIA front, and turns the US government a tidy profit every time some guy in downtown Tehran gets his cigarette lighter out.

German dictator, mass murderer and famously one-bollocked Adolf Hitler is well-known for writing his fascist manisfesto bestseller “Mein Kampf”. However, you may be interested in other books by the same author :
• Cycling in the Austrian Alps - my 1927 holiday
• Adolf and Eva’s book of love positions
• The National Socialist Party 1942 desk diary
• Adolf Hitler’s book of humourous cat stories
• Gay pick-up points in Berlin and Munich - a visitor’s guide
All are available at your local bookstore, or through www.nazibooksellers.com at reasonable cost.

According to the 1967 Scud Description Act, a pornographic movie will not receive a certificate unless it contains the line "It's so hot in here".

Even Eskimo Igloo Orgy III, a classic of the genre, was not exempt.