Friday, August 31, 2007

 

100% of FACT: Samuel Pepys

Samuel Pepys' diary of 1665 featured a map of Ye Olde London Und'rground inside the back cover.

Pepys and his good friend Sir Isaac Newton played the first recorded game of Mornington Crescent that year, Newton triumphing through the use of the now obsolete Shoreditch Plague Diversion.

Monday, August 20, 2007

 

100% of FACT: Ann Noreen Widdecombe

Celebrity ambulance-chaser and thinking retard's crumpet Ann Noreen Widdecombe, having admitted defeat in her quest to beat prostitution, has decided to throw in her lot and join the slatterns.

She now offers a twenty quid happy finish, which will be VAT and tax-free under a future Conservative government.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

 

100% of FACT: NASA

The recent NASA report that revealed drunken and possibly drugged-up behaviour within the Astronaut Corps is nothing but a cover-up.

The organisation has known for years that Major Tom is a junkie.

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